en helt jävla fucked up människar är vad jag är just nu!
Allmänt förvirrad, jag vet varken a eller b, jag vet ingenting.
It's like you wanna scream, but no one can hear you. Jag vill ha hjälp, men ingen hjälp finns det, om jag inte vet felet på mig själv, hur ska någon annan kunna lista ut vad fan som är fel på mig och mitt knäppa humör, mina knäppa tankar och mitt jävla knäppa beteende.
Det känns som att jag är tonåring igen, då man inte vet vem man är och man har ej hittat sig själv. Det känns som att jag har kommit dit igen, för utan dig så är jag ej mig själv, och när du är för långt borta från mig då finns inte jag, bara en skugga av mig är här. Det är med dig jag är och finns, och det är hos dig jag vill finnas, fast just nu finns jag ingenstans..
Sometimes you have to push people away so you can pull them closer.. or sometimes you just have to make them not wanting you anymore, so it'll be easier for them when you leave..!
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It's like I wanna have you close, but I can't. I'm always looking for your presence, but it's nowhere to be found, only the little amount of you, your smell, it's the only thing left here from you. By the smell I can somehow feel you, it's crazy, cause I can actuelly touch you, I don't feel you in that way I feel you when I'm with you, but I feel you in a distance way, you're here, but you're actuelly not.. It's a crazy and a really strange thing, but it's a magic thing!
the koala mode
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best feeling!
that's me!
That is probably what every person wants!
<3
And if I fall for you, will you fall to?
you & I, we're lifting over the edge!
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På riktigt, jag hatar mig själv, jag hatar mitt sätt att vara på, jag hatar hur jag behandlar dig, jag hatar hur jag reagerar, hur jag blir när inget blir som jag förväntar mig, MEN VA FAN, varför ska alltid allt gå enligt mina tankar och på ett sådant sätt som jag tänker mig? Det funkar ej, kanske i en fantasi värld men ej i verkliga livet, man kan inte alltid få som man vill, även om man vill. Jag är så egoistisk, jag blir arg för ingenting, är knäpp as hell och jag är bara en helt jävla weird person!
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some questions and answers!
- 1.Do you want a boyfriend or girlfriend? - a boyfriend..
- 2.When did your last hug take place? - at the work, with a kid.
- 3.Are you a jealous person? - I can be jealous, sometimes..
- 4.Are you tired right now? - no!
- 5.Do you chew on your straws? - no
- 6.Have you ever been called a tease? - don't think so
- 7.Have you ever been awake for 48 hours straight? - yes
- 8.Do you cry easily? - no
- 9.What should you be doing right now? - go tanning
- 10.Are you a heavy sleeper? - yes!
- 11.Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months? - i think so
- 12.Are you mad at someone right now? - no
- 13.Do you believe in love? - yes
- 14.What makes you laugh no matter what? - my boyfriend.. cause he's so funny! ;D
- 15.Who was the last person you talked to? my mom for 2 minutes ago.
- 16.Do you get butterflies around the person you like? - always!
- 17.Will you get married? - maybe someday in the future..
- 18.When was the last time you smiled? - last night
- 19.Does anyone like you? - I hope so!
- 20.Do you secretly like someone? - not secretly
- 21.Who was the first person you talked to today? - my dad
- 22.Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? - my boyfriend!
- 23.What are you NOT looking forward to? - the work tomorrow
- 24.What ARE you looking forward to? - wednesday when i get to see my boyfriend again! :D
- 25.Has someone of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you, and meant it? - yes, i hope he meant it
- 26.Suppose you see your ex kissing another person what would you do? - nothing
- 27.Do you plan on moving out within the next year? - within the next 2 years is my plan of moving.
- 28.Are you a forgiving person? - i can be forgiving.
- 29.How many TRUE friends do you have? - 3 TRUE
- 30.Do you fall for people easily? - not so easy
- 31.Have you ever fallen for your ex’s best friend? - no!
- 32.What’s the last thing you put in your mouth? - i don't know
- 33.Who was the last person you drove with? - in the car? my dad
- 34.How late did you stay up last night and why? til 2.00, i was speaking with my boy on the phone.
- 35.If you could move somewhere else, would you? - YES, YES AND YES!
- 36.Who was the last person you took a picture of? - my sister!
- 37.Can you live a day without TV? - yes
- 38.When was the last time you were extremely disappointed? - extremely disappointed, that was a while ago.
- 39.Three names you go by.. - Camilla, Milla & Pillan
- 40.Are you currently in a relationship? - yes!
- 41.What is your all-time favorite romance movie? - 'If only' the most romantic film I would say, and then 'the notebook'.
- 42.Do you believe that everyone has a soul-mate? - yes i believe that, AND I hope I've found mine..
- 43.What’s your current problem? - it's raining outside, BIG problem!
- 44.Have you ever had your heart broken? - yes.
- 45.Your thoughts of long distance relationships? - I'm in a distance relationship now, and it SUCKS big time! But if you want something or someone, you'll manage it! ;)
- 46.How many kids do you want to have? - ha ha ha, none, they are only problem!
- 47.Have you ever found it hard to tell someone you like them? - yes.
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you make me that person
Sometimes I think a soulmate is someone who will make you be the most 'you' that you could possibly be!
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When you’re away, no matter how long, I just sit around like this:
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<3
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the bucket list on my life
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thin
I would kill someone just to have this body !!!
keep on doing the exercises !
but oh you do
some text about the long distance relationship
so well, it's hard sometimes, some days are harder then other, but we'll get thorugh this, cause we are strong, strong together and through the distance.. <3
