I founded myself in this small corner.. Reading a book I founded myself and I know that with myself is where i need to be, its with myself I need to be with, no one else! 

 

at this very moment I dont need anyone else, I need myself and I need to figure out what I want, where I want it, and if I want it with someone else or just with myself! Cause at this very moment, it is with myself I want it to be, and its with me and myself I wanna be, no one else! 

 

I want to be left alone, but not lonely! At this moment I got all that, and I feel happy and free!

 

Sometimes when he speaks to me, I try to understand, but I cant get myself to understand, I need some minutes after our conversation to replay in my head all the thinks he said, and then I can understand the words he spoke!

 

And now I realise, after one year of long distance relationship I was so happy to finally be reunated with my man, but that's not what happend, I imagined different, and he wanted it to be different.. I never thought we'd become that boring couple who never were happy to see each other, who always faught.. but we became that couple, a part of that was my fault, cause I couldn't let go even if I didnt need to hold on so hard to him, he was Always there even if he wasn't there...

 

Cause I always thought that couple how've been together for a longer time and who always needed to be with each other were boring, and I became that person who ALWAYS needed to see my man, and Im not that person, not really, I have never been that person, I was fine before my man came into my life.. but I became that boring person who was obsessed with her man... and i hate myself for being that person, cause that's not me, not really, all I needed was to know that I always had HIM by my side no matter where in the world I were or am, all i need to know is that he truly loves me and that he's with me even if he's not with me (fysichilly)...

 

And now he told me, that after some days or a week that we havn't seen each other, he's more happy to see me, and I agree, I am to.. and that's how it should be, and I can never understand why I letted me to be like this, I never stopped and think, I just keept going until it was destroyed..